Holding The Full Spectrum: A Thanksgiving Reflection

Once again we’ve arrived at the complex time of year that is the “holiday season”.  For every person who LOVES this time of year, there are also many folks who cringe or downright despise it. So, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on Thanksgiving… from both sides of the spectrum.  Perhaps these words can offer some support if you find yourself struggling with the cognitive dissonance of this particular holiday.

So, let's start with the pain of Thanksgiving.  At this point in our collective consciousness,  I think most folks recognize that the history that my generation and older (I’m 45) were taught growing up about Thanksgiving is not at all accurate.  The genocide and land theft of indigenous peoples that came with colonization was systematic and I wish I could say “unbelievable”… but here we are, hundreds of  years later, and still seeing the same heartbreaking patterns played out around the planet today (ie: Gaza).

So, for many indigenous bloodlines here in the US, Thanksgiving is a deeply painful experience.   To hold that truth is to sit in our empathy and compassion and to practice SATYA… the yogic practice of seeing/hearing/speaking and living in TRUTH.   As with any deep pain, the tendency for most folks is to avoid feeling it at all costs.   

Outside of the deep pain of generational trauma of those with native bloodlines, MANY other folks suffer this time of year due to their own wounded /unhealed family lines and the pressure of “being together”.  I know MANY people who do NOT feel like they can be themselves around their blood family.  And yet, many folks make themselves conform to the tradition and suffer through painful family-of-origin drama because they feel that they “have to”.  Equally painful, those who don’t have a family, or close friends/support this time of year.  The cultural pressure of family, community, and togetherness can feel doubly painful for those who genuinely feel alone.

So, there’s the pain.  It’s a lot to hold. And it's real for many people.

And on the other side of the spectrum are those who genuinely LOVE this time of year.   I could go on and on about the traditions that genuinely feed peoples souls, the importance of celebrating the harvest season, and the heart filling that comes with choosing to spend time with people who light you up!

But mostly, I want to talk about the PRACTICE of GRATITUDE.  The invitation of Thanksgiving time is to GIVE THANKS .  It’s easy to give thanks for the things that bring us joy… but what about the pain?   In the incredible documentary “Gratitude Revealed” they say something along the lines of “gratefulness is recognizing the GREAT FULLNESS of life”.  When we can tap into the beauty that lies in ALL aspects of being… both the joy and even the deep pain… we honor our humanity and the humanity of others.  Equally, when we can remember that we are part of nature, and get unplugged and OUTSIDE, this also brings us  back to the great fullness.

One of my closest friends, Baheya Aysheh, is a Palestinian mother of two, who grew up 1/2 in occupied Palestine and 1/2 in the US.  She went through incredible pain and abuse as a young person and eventually gathered the strength to leave her abusive husband in her 20’s and raise her two daughters on her own.  I have had the profound pleasure, over the last decade, of watching her come deeper into herself as her daughters are now grown and she now shares her healing modalities with so many.  She is such a gift.  Whenever I ask her how she’s doing… regardless of if she is having a hard time, she always answers “ I’m grateful honey”.   She has been one of my biggest teachers in holding gratitude for ALL of it.   

The hard times inevitably teach us much more than the easy times… can we find gratitude for the pain?

I just watched the new documentary about the incredible spoken word poet Andrea Gibson, called “Come See Me In The Good Light”.  Wowza… SO good.  Andrea passed away earlier this year after battling cancer since 2020.  Their story is one of deep gratitude for life… and the way that cancer brought the present moment as the greatest gift. When death is knocking at your door, it clarifies what actually matters.

Within my own life, my deepest loss was that of both of my parents when I was 12 years old. That pain taught me empathy at a young age. That pain ultimately shaped my life to make me who I am today. I doubt I would have ended up on the healing path if not for that loss. And I have SO much gratitude for this life... for the incredible journey that continues to unfold... and so I also find gratitude for even that most painful initiation.

I have been practicing the "attitude of gatitude" for many many years now... and I'm happy to share that it has become like second nature. Like anything, that which we feed energetically grows.

This Thanksgiving I want to pour my gratitude out of my very overflowing cup.

Thank you.

Thank you to our incredible commUnity that weaves such a beautiful web together.  You fill my heart every day.

Thank you to the folks that regularly share their gratitude with me for Be Free.  Your words and your heart mean everything.

Thank you for the growing pains I have experienced over the last few years as I have learned more and more how to be a leader.  Again, I’ve learned more from my mistakes than all the “easy” times.

And I’ll end with MY VERSION of the land and lineage acknowledgement that we keep on the alter and ask each teacher to incorporate into their class.

We begin in the roots.

We offer deep gratitude to the roots of THIS land that we call home.  To all of the life here and ALL those that have walked this land before us.  The Cheyenne, the Arapaho, and the Ute peoples.  May our practice of YOGA help to bring us back to reciprocity with the land.

To our own roots… our family trees… may they find healing and blossoming…

And lastly to the roots of YOGA.  My teachers and their teachers on back through the line to the first sages.  We are so lucky to have these tools now. What a profound gift.

Thank you.

May you be blessed friends.

We are here to support and hold you through the long nights of the winter season.

With so much love,

Melanie

co-owner of The Be Free Healing Center