Yoga Asana for me was a natural and logical next step on a lifelong journey of exploring different spiritual traditions and practices, though this particular step was one that took me over a decade to make. After growing up in a devout Catholic family and becoming disenchanted with that faith at a pretty young age, and yet still feeling and maintaining a deep and profound spiritual perspective and understanding of the universe, I found myself in college studying and pursuing a degree in philosophy with an emphasis on religious and spiritual philosophy (both Western and Eastern). During my Sophomore year I took a Meditation class that was offered, which was basically just a survey of quite a few different techniques and approaches to meditation found around the world. Quite immediately, I knew I had stumbled onto exactly what I was looking for, or at least the path that might lead to what I was seeking. And while I didn’t recognize or have any conception of it at the time, this also marked my entry to the path of Yoga, specifically Dhyana Yoga. It would, however, be another 12 years or so before I attended my first Asana class and began the movement part of my journey with yoga. And another year or 2 before I would stumble upon Nada Yoga.
My first Asana session was really born from a deep desire and need to heal from some serious psychological and emotional trauma that I endured during my 4th decade in this human body, as well as some innate inner knowing deep within me that movement as a meditation was the key. Yoga Asana was something that had been in my peripheral vision for a number of years, with many friends getting into the practice on some level. But for whatever reason my perception of it was that it was a system of physical exercise, and nothing more. Slowly that perception shifted as years went on, but for me personally, I had my daily meditation practice and then other things and activities that I did for exercise, so there was no need for “yoga”….until there was.
As I set foot on the path that I now recognize as the beginning of my healing journey in this life, I found myself drawn to the yoga studio down the street from my house. And, as luck would have it, coinciding with the conclusion of this intensely traumatic situation in my life, my job situation also changed to where I could attend the morning yoga classes there. So I went. And I’m not sure I can even describe in words what it is that I found there, except to say that I kept going. Every. Single. Day….for the next 5 months. And I kept my daily meditation practice going during this time as well, but the asana practice giving me access to parts of myself that had been locked away from me for far too long. Namely, it was giving me a way to connect with my own body and what was happening there on an emotional and energetic level, even though I didn’t really understand it at the time. All I knew was that by working my body in these different postures and then collapsing to my mat like a corpse on a daily basis, I was slowly but surely coming to know, accept, honor, love and heal parts of myself from which I had been wholly disconnected and unaware of for most of my life. And after many months of this, I knew that I wanted to immerse myself in this practice and in this way of life as much as I could. So I began looking for Yoga Teacher Trainings, not so much because I wanted to become a teacher, but because I wanted to learn. And this is how I found myself at an ashram in Rollinsville, CO for a month near the end of COVID lockdown, studying and learning and eventually earning my 200HR YTT certification in Hatha Yoga. And while I was there, I was also briefly introduced to Nada Yoga, mantra, Japa and Kirtan.
My initial visit to Shoshoni Yoga Retreat and Ashram was both brief and an entire lifetime all at once. And shortly after I returned to my home near Vail, CO for the start of the next ski season, it became immediately apparent that I had changed, and that my old life no longer fit this new version of myself that I was becoming. So I spent the first part of that winter preparing and making arrangements, and a few months later I moved to the ashram and lived there full time for rest of that year. It was during this time that I truly began to understand that Yoga is so much more than Asana, and that there are many limbs and branches to this great tree of yoga that is actually a spiritual blueprint for how to live in the unfolding of the great mystery of this life. Not only that, but I soon realized that I had actually spent much of my adult life already practicing 2 of these branches without even realizing it. The obvious one was Dhyana Yoga, or the yoga of meditation. The not so obvious was Nada Yoga, the yoga of sound and vibration. For so many years at that point, playing music and singing in particular was very much a spiritual endeavor for me, though I wasn’t consciously or intentionally singing to the divine, but rather to my own heart and the hearts of others. After being at the ashram and really diving into the world of Nada yoga, I realized that in fact by singing to my own heart and that of others, I was indeed chanting to the divine within us all - I just wasn’t aware of that, or using words or language to do that with intention. So, discovering this practice of chanting and singing the various names of the divine, of God and the Goddess, of the various human incarnations of the divine in all its aspects and attributes, was quite literally like discovering a new way to breathe for me. Sure, I had been breathing all along, but now I was learning to do it with love and intention in a way I didn’t know was possible. And these practices quite literally changed the course of my life in the most beautiful ways imaginable.
My main advice to yoga beginners is just to be curious and open, and maintain that ‘beginner’s mind’ throughout your journey. Be curious about your body during asana practice, how does each posture feel, where the line of discomfort is, what’s easy and what’s challenging, and just noticing these things without trying to judge them as good or bad. Be curious about your mind and your thought patterns during meditation, again without judgment, but just noticing, as you continue to bring your awareness back to your breath, what are the thoughts that persistently try and re-capture your attention….are they the same types of thoughts from day to day, or do they change, and if so, what is different about them? What is different about you? And be curious about your emotional energy and your responses to the notion of Karma yoga and doing acts of service. Is there resistance there? Why or why not? How does it feel to shift the focus away from yourself and what’s going on in your life and onto other people or organizations? And be curious about your voice and the vibrations you choose to create and put out into the world with your voice, as well as the vibrations you choose to listen to regularly and receive into your own being. What types of lyrics do you listen to and sing in the shower? How do you regularly speak to the people you love, both in terms of word choice and energy? How do you speak to people who challenge you? How do you speak to yourself? Just the act of being curious as we venture forth on this grand journey of Yoga can be so illuminating for us as seekers and students that, with practice, the path begins to be revealed under the light of this curiosity with each step we take.
As far as where people can find me, I am at Be Free every Friday morning teaching a Mantra Mornings class from 7:30-8:30am, which is an introduction to singing and chanting mantra as a spiritual practice, and a wonderful opportunity to sing in community on a weekly basis. Additionally, I host Kirtan group singing/chanting sessions regularly at the studio with Alexandra Jenkins. I am also one half of Visranti, a pairing with my dear friend KC Trujillo where we offer monthly Cacao and Sound Healing Ceremonies as well as live music yoga classes ending with sound baths every other month. So please look out for us on the Be Free schedule.
Or you can find me on IG: @visrantisound
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